On July 18, I had a birthday. And I weighed less than last year on the same day.

Honestly, I’m working my weight off so slowly that it feels it isn’t happening at all some days. But it is. And I’m so excited! And any time I start to feel frustration building, I remind myself of a Phit-N-Phat podcast I heard a few months back: Corinne Crabtree, the host, said that she had never met anyone who lost a hundred pounds and was sitting around so sad because it took such a long time.

At the time, hearing her say that made me chuckle, because I had been so frustrated about how “poorly” I was achieving my weight loss goal, and hearing her say that thought out loud instantly removed some secret monster’s voice in my head that used to screech, “You’ll never do this. You’ve waited too long. You’re too out of shape. You’re an epic failure. You’re screwing up right and left, so just forget it.”

Do I sometimes WISH that I was more gazelle intense about this process? Of course! But I’m learning to accept myself for who I am and what I am capable of doing in this moment at one time. And this means that I’m choosing to include time for my family and time for my job. This means sometimes I watch Netflix for a few hours or that my food amount or type isn’t perfect every single day of a week. This ALSO means that I’m choosing daily to TRY ANYWAY.

I’m choosing to celebrate tiny steps. I’m choosing to not react to the number on the scale, and instead use the number to encourage self-reflection (not self-loathing) and to inform my future decisions. I’m choosing to believe that my best for the day is good enough and that a new day can bring new opportunities to practice becoming healthier. And with this acceptance, I find that the dramatic shift in my thinking is revealing itself subtly on the scale. The emotional roller-coaster ride of trying to lose weight has calmed down from my past and I am emerging a confident woman who believes that that no matter how long it takes me to lose one hundred pounds, I will be successful over the long haul. And I am no longer worrying about how long that will take.

So, I don’t have any magical potion or formula for weight loss. BUT I do have the power of choice to throw in the towel because I suck at the process or the power of choice to continue learning and reflecting on the process. I have the power of choice to move forward with the belief that someday, I will get to my goal, and when I do, it will be a beautiful experience that I will savor and value and appreciate. And the celebration will include something amazing to DO with my family. Like zip-lining, white-water rafting or sky diving–experiences to embrace, not a meal to devour.